Mama always said... Stupid is as stupid does

This kid knows no fear

THE Angkor Wat

Floating School in the... Floating Village!

Coca-Cola.  Truly the best Brand Marketing.

Liz spent $15 on pencils for the kids.

Week Three: Cambodia with Liz, Lori, and Grace (3 of the 5 girls I went to Koh Chang and Koh Samet with).  This trip involved getting a visa to cross the border as well as a re-entry permit back to Thailand because without one I would no longer have a legit work permit or Thai visa, ultimately costing me a lot more money that I would like.  Our experience in Cambodia was one for the books.  Cambodian men rivaling one another for our attention, luring us in with their many "connections" all around the city in terms of transportation, accommodation, and party time.  After two days of being herded around like cattle and trying to be nice about the situation we packed up our shit from the hostel-in-the-middle-of-nowhere to move to a place closer to the town of Siem Reap where more backpackers stay (which was not walking distance from our current situation).  Of course, upon requesting to pay up and move on, we were told they would drive us, free of charge, of course! to a friend-of-a-friends hostel closer to town.  Fuck that.  Our intention was to get out of this cambodian spiderweb and just do things on our own, or at least with people that would make us "feel" like we were making our own decisions.  We found a quaint, and perfect, little guesthouse called "Fresh" - if you ask my friend Grace, she can tell you a great story about how tuk tuk drivers LOOOVE to say the word "fresh".  :)   So yeah, Cambodia, upon arrival, was both frustrating, expensive, but at the same time fabulously real and rustic.

We spent our first full day getting our tickets for Angkor Wat and doing a super sized tour of a good portion of the grounds that day.  3-day tickets are around 40 USD (I think) which is about 174,000 riel (felt like I was giving up my life's earnings).  Absolutely breathtaking.  I knew I was excited to embark on this part of Southeast Asia, but I was not ready for what I actually saw.  More than just the amazing architecture of many hundreds of years ago, the atmosphere of the entire place was like none I have ever experienced.  Small babies and children of all ages and sizes are roaming around speaking fluent English offering you "a cold drink, lady?" or "15 bracelets for 1 dollar, lady... see, I count for you - 1, 2, 3..." or "You buy shirt, lady?  Remember my shop number 7.  I remember you.  Ok, lady?"  It is a bit overwhelming and at one point, at the end of the first day, I almost lost it.  I was just trying to eat some noodle soup and about 4 girls sat down and would not stop touching us, drawing us pictures on random pieces of paper, and begging incessantly for money (funny story later about how I did offer money to a small boy and was yelled at).  I just shut my mouth and let the other girls talk to the cambodian children.  I got up and walked away, sick to my stomach that these little kids have to do this.  It is a vicious cycle that is NOT their fault, thus I had/have no reason to be upset with them.  They do it because they are told to; they do not know any better.  I've heard from many people that have traveled to India mention that giving any money to those that beg for it and try to live off of that lifestyle is only making said vicious cycle worse.  I'm not sure what we are supposed to do as Westerners in these situations - as if giving a bit of money to a few children will change their lives forever?  I often wonder what they would do with 100 USD if I were to give one family that...  For now, I'll never know.

Shopping in Cambodia was fun!  I realized I'm a pretty damn good haggler.  Thanks Dad, for making me so stern and stubborn (or as you might like to call... bullheaded).  Or maybe I should thank all the Guenther genes??  Anyway, bought about 5 shirts to give to my parents and siblings (it was going to be a surprise but assuming you miiiiight read this, sorry).  They are great quality and all together were about 10 USD for 5.  Of course, they asked for 4 USD per shirt at first.  I didn't buy too much else, aside from some souvenirs from Phnom Penh and a buffalo horn ring with marble on top (unfortunately, this pricey commodity broke a few days ago - sorry Erica, that one was specifically for you.. you wouldn't believe how big I could get rings there!!! They'd even fit you! haha).  The rest of my money went to touring, food, drinks, and drinks.  There was a plethora of happy hours to choose from everyday and most were 10-8 so after a long day of sightseeing and getting back around 5... a 50 cent draft beer (or 3) and a 1 dollar taco (or 3) were exactly what we needed.  Fairly decent night scene, met a lot of other travelers, and found a bar and DJ (named Rat) to play all of the hip hop and rap songs we could possibly come up with.  Words can't exactly describe the dynamic the girls I traveled with have - they're hilarious.  Reminded me a LOT of my time in college, especially Sophomore year living on Mifflin.  Always being classy ladies.

Another day we went to the floating village - super cool.  A rip off in terms of paying every part of the journey from the taxi to the pier, the entrance to the village, the boat to get to the village, tipping the driver and tour guide, and i'm almost sure some of my money ended up with the men who helped me step into the boat, even though they tripped me with a rope!  It was just the four of us in the boat, so we got to stop and go wherever we wanted.  We wanted to stop at the school and give the school children pencils (15 dollars for 60 pencils... wtf?!).  It was literally a floating school (I guess everything in a floating village is floating, eh?)  The kids were soooo cute.  Pictures can explain better than my words: 

We were in Siem Reap for about 6 or 7 days and I wanted to move on to Phnom Penh but the other 3 wanted to stick around another night, so I grabbed an afternoon bus which was to take around 6 hours (actually took 8).  I met a Cambodian girl, maybe around my age, and she spoke very good english.  A sidenote on this... Most people that I mention speak very good english will actually tell you that they don't think they do.. and they are ALL quite shy to use it - I make an effort to tell everyone I talk with that they do, in fact, have great english and the best way to gain confidence and get better is by practicing!  Anyway, Reasey Mean is her name and we talked for the second half of the bus ride (I think I was sleeping for the first, or maybe just wasn't very friendly looking?) and she told me about her family and I told her how I lived in Thailand.  She went to school for Accounting and she does that in Phnom Penh now, where she can make more money than in Siem Reap.  However, her father wants her to move to Siem Reap where two of her brothers live (she is the youngest of 4) and work there.  So she was in Siem Reap for an interview.  She reallllly wants to stay in Phnom Penh but because of the culture, and as the youngest, and as a female, she would have to do what her father wishes, without question.  I spoke with her a week ago and she ended up moving to Siem Reap.  She feels bad not doing Accounting which is her trade, but it is what her family wishes of her.  Hmm..what if I were in the same situation?  Maybe I wouldn't be here - not saying that my parents wouldn't allow me, but I can completely understand them wanting to keep there children close to home, and make sure they have a job, whatever it is, with a reliable income. 

Our trendy tour guide.

I only spent one night in Phnom Penh (2 Days) but got to see everything I wanted.  For those of you that don't know about the genocide in Cambodia as a result of the Khmer Rouge that happened over 35 years ago, I suggest you brush up on your history.  A holocaust that was, in terms of casualties per capita, even more savage and horrendous than the Holocaust itself.  I read "Survival in the Killing Fields" and "First They Killed My Father".  Both autobiographical stories of survivors of this awful moment in human history - sad, real, emotional, intense.  I went to the actual Killing Fields and walked around where many mass killings took place, saw the remains of human bones and clothing that were dug up, some headless, but most with huge wounds on their skulls from being blasted to death with an ax, pick, or other rusty metal or wooden stick.  I also visited the Grand Palace and the famous SR-21 Prison in Phnom Penh that was, before the Khmer Rouge takeover, a high school.  Thousands of pictures haunt the interiors or these classrooms - all that experienced the horror of this time.  Very interesting to see this history of a country like this... but also interesting to experience it through talking with people who actually lived through it and seeing the countryside completely under developed and still stricken by poverty and hunger due to the actions of the Pol Pot regime 30+ years ago.  I get a night bus to Bangkok, taking me first back to Siem Reap, then to the border for inspection/etc and then a mini van to BKK - longest. trip. ever.  I then got a mini van back to Suphanburi to my apartment.  Felt like ages since I had been there... was excited for a nice night's sleep.  Oh wait... I randomly decided to take a 7 am bus down to Phuket the next morning instead of resting for a day or two... imagine that.

Week Four: This is where the legend (wait for it) dary Monkey BITE comes in.  Had a blast island hopping, binge drinking, and meeting some of the newbies going through their TESOL training like I did back in April.  Like always, after picking through some of the weeds we found some beautiful vegetation to hang with (excuse that oh-so-lame metaphor).  Went back to Phi Phi Island which was just as fabulous as the first time - tons of young people partying on the beach until the wee hours of the morning, body paint, fire throwing, fire jump roping, buckets of liquor, and PLENTY of water/boat time during the day.  We did one intense excursion to the surrounding islands - let's just say it was our vacation time so some might have consumed a few alcoholic beverages beginning at about 8 am when our van left to take us to the ferry.  These two ingredients made for a memorable menu to say the least.  We even got to the island and beach where the film The Beach with Leo DiCaprio was filmed and also did some amazing snorkling.  Oh, and I learned how to say spit it thai.. but that is another story... This would be where I could tell the entire story of my monkey bite but because I am still somewhat concerned with my current rabies situation I'm going to leave it out and just mention that I chose not to go to the hospital against the wishes of some friends and ONE pharmacist.  I also want to throw it out there that I WAS told by a (I thinks he was a doctor) lady working in a clinic that I would be fine.  She put iodine and a band-aid on it and sent me on my way. 

After Phi Phi was Krabi (Railay Beach).  I haven't been to this island yet so I was pretty stoked to get my feet on it - I've heard WONDERFUL things.  However, the day we left wasn't exactly calm.  Long story short, I shed a tear or two to my friend Will professing I was SURE we were going to die in the treacherous waters and I knew I wasn't able to swim to any of the islands that seemed miles (or kilometers) away.  I told him that I was currently finding the song on my iPod that I would be dying to.  Ha, apparently I'm not as fearless as I think.  We get there after many hurdles, including another MUCH SMALLER boat to Ton Sai beach where we were to find our bungalow to stay in.  I, unfortunately, had a huge bag and had to trek what seemed like forever with it, but it was worth it once we got settled in.  The beach was absolutely what I needed.  VERY chill and very comfortable with beautiful hikes and cliffs.  It is actually famous for the rock climbing that you can participate in - either beginner or advanced.  We met one guy that just got back from base jumping in (I think) Laos and came down just to base jump the highest cliff on the island.  Rumor has it he succeeded :)  I was a little wounded (I forgot to mention I stepped on glass and also had a huge lash on my back from falling into the ladder on our boat) so I opted out of the rock climbing business and just relaxed with two friends that we randomly ran into (they were actually supposed to still be in India, but MAN was I happy to see them!!)

2 nights on Ton Sai beach and we were heading back to Phuket for the Vegetarian Festival.  Pictures can only describe that situation:

Hit up Patong, which was just as toxic as I thought and I wasn't nearly as intoxicated as I needed to be to tolerate all the hookers, neon lights, etc.  Headed to a few more islands near Phuket the next day and I took a night bus back to Bangkok.  Spent a few more days in Kanchanaburi to rest up before going back to work on the 18th of October.  My body was yelling at me for the previous month of debauchery, but my mind was ready to get back to a normal schedule.

Today is Thanksgiving (i.e. I'm going to end this one here and I'll fill ya in on my last month and half of teaching at a later date)... I'm thankful for my friends and family of course, all the opportunities I've been able to have, and my youth.  I'm going to drink beer tonight (again - i drank a bit last night at dinner with a coworker) and I slept the best I have in a while and it got rid of the headache i'd had all day.

But then again.. i get in a better mood come Thursday evening.. i wonder if it has anything to do with the week coming to an end?

Supanburi Round 2

Teacher Laura:  How do you spell... ugly? 
Kindergarten Student: U-G-L-Y 
Of course I had to laugh.  And continue the rest of the cheer in my head (you ain't got no aliby... you ugly... you ugly... yeah, yeah, you ugly)  So mature.


Oh man, where to start.  So it has definitely been quite some time since my last posting, mainly because I’ve been off of school for a month (yeahhhh, baby – I just happened to look over and see Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me DVD on the floor so I thought I’d throw that one in for you).  I’ll attempt a semi interesting synopsis starting from the beginning:

School: Ended rather quickly.  Couldn’t have been happier to get out of there.  It wasn’t that I was unhappy or anything but I was SO looking forward to my break and traveling and NOT having to teach everyday that the last week seemed to pass by like a peeping Tom at night.  It was nice because I was extremely busy grading all of the midterms and filling out 100 kindergarten report cards (i.e. writing my name, signing my name, and giving 200 thai parents my thai telephone number… probably should have thought that one through a little bit before I agreed to it). 

Week One: Immediately after class on Friday I jump on a bus to Kanchanaburi – literally jump - as it is driving by the opposite way as I’m in a tuk tuk (mini taxi) to the bus station.  I have the driver whip a U-y and wave that damn bus down because I was NOT about to wait another hour for the next bus.  Worked like a charm.  I seem to keep coming back here… I wonder why?!  It was my friend James’ birthday and there was quite a crew of us that all met here.  You can fill in the blanks, as we have all celebrated many a birthday.  High notes of this weekend were meeting the entire Austrailian Army crew that is training in Thailand and Southeast Asia.  What a silly bunch of Aussies.  Not to mention beautiful and all about the size of Vin Diesel in Fast and the Furious (speaking of… are they REALLY making a 5th?!).  I stayed in Kanchanaburi until Tuesday and [because I had run into some other girls that took the same ATI course as me but a week earlier] headed off with 5 ladies to Koh Samet and Koh Chang, two islands south of Bangkok.  It was so refreshing to be with a different group of people... especially ones that were RIGHT on my wave length in terms of sarcastic remarks, upbeat adventure style, and the occasional legit crazy (and awkward) party mode.  Of course, any time you travel you will experience some extremely awkward moments, those that just make you want to bury yourself in the sand and pretend your existence never was.  For example, after a delicious meal (of American proportions) at our guesthouse we were all rewarding ourselves after a long day of travel with a few beers.  Rumor about a party on a different beach was going around and the thai man sitting next to us who was friends with some of the people that worked at the restaurant offered to drive us in his pickup.  Not sketchy at all, especially not with 6 girls – quite the force to be reckoned with (and no, I’m not being sarcastic here, straight serious).  Obviously I felt right at home jumping in the back of the pickup with a dress on, but that's just the farm girl in me.  Anyway… we get to the bar... It’s ok.  We throw back a few buckets and want to call it a night but how do you tell a thai man to drive 6 girls back home in his pickup?  Fast forward a bit, one of the wolfpack got pretty drunk so that was a great excuse to get our bandwagon back in the direction it came from and get to bed.  We get back, say our goodbyes, head to hang out for a few minutes and listen to some music, and a certain member of the wolfpack may or may not have had to fight off the “moves” of said thai driver.  Sitting on our porch listening to music and eating the snacks we bought on our 7Eleven run, guess who strolls up with a bottle of whiskey in hand?  Harldy awkward until we get yelled at by other guests because our music is too loud and then when we BLATANTLY express our desire to sleep, he decides to find a nice place to lay inside our bungalow on the floor.  At the foot of the bed.  I mean, c’mon.  So yeah… he made his sneaky departure sometime in the wee morning hours because upon awakening he was nowhere to be found.  We did manage to keep that bottle of whiskey though.  Success.

Week Two:  Headed back to Bangkok for a night and then to Suphanburi.  I had a "retreat" with my school in Hua Hin, a beach-ish town in Eastern Thailand (I went here for a Jazz Festival if you recall).  Basically, it was 80 thai teachers and myself checking out a school that the king claims should be replicated throughout the country.  This means, all classes are filmed and shown for years on what is the equivalent of our "community access" channels.  We observed a few classes and apparently they must not get many foreign visitors because it was like brittney spears fighting off the paparazzi after shaving her head when I walked in those classrooms.  I think they were even a little shocked when I burst out laughing.  Speaking of being a celebrity... a few days ago at the bus station (again, going to Kanchanaburi) there were a group of Coke sponsors taking pictures for an advertisement.  They stroll up as I'm lazily sitting on a bench listening to my iPod and, without a word, hand me a bottle of Coca-Cola and a straw and begin taking pictures.  Having been in a commercial or two myself (haha) I immediately pop that straw in the bottle, turn it so the logo is in perfect view of the camera lens and work my magic.  I'll probably be on a bilboard somewhere in Thailand.  No big deal.  Duh duh buh buh juh juh.  Back to Hua Hin... the rest of the 2 days there were great, got to spend some real "quality" time with my coworkers, which involved being forced to drink whiskey & water and racing on the beach for money (my apologies to the thai teacher that I gave a piggy back ride to during one race in which I fell flat on my face, tossing her about 5 feet in front of me).  Oh, and thai people LOVE Karaoke.  Especially sober, on a bus, at 3 pm.  Next up: return to Suphanburi for my next adventure: CAMBODIA


I'm gonna break here and post this.  I'll pick up at Cambodia asap.  For now, I apologize for such lack of colorful writing and nonexistant pictures.  A few tragedies have occurred in my life recently:
1. loss of a functioning camera
2. loss of a functioning iPod (travelling SUCKS without one)
3. I moved apartments, which took me nearly a month to complete
4. I got lice from what I can only assume to be one of my students (needless to say I was too stubborn to investigate WHY my head was so itchy in fear of being grossed out so I may have let it go on a bit longer than necessary - it was a fucking party on my head for a while there)
5. I got bit by a monkey (more on that, and my new found obsession with rabies, in the next blog)
6. Got food poisoning.  As my first encounter with this misfortunate illness I assumed it was my rabies taking over my immune system on what was sure to be my last day of life.
7. Speaking of last days of life... I realized I'm NOT a huge fan of boats during wind storms when land is not easy to come by.  What would YOUR last song be to listen to alive?
rockin you like a tsunami

Kurt Cobain meets Clockwork Orange: the people I meet

So let me go off a little bit and give a shout out to all you CANADIANS.  Yes, I said it.  I might sometimes come off as a bit racist to the ginger race, but I do openly enjoy all cultures.  Canada, while a serious neighbor to my homestate isn't something I'm familiar with.  I just don't know many canadians.  Straight up.  I've met quite a few here and they are by far some of my favorite people.  Aside from the "eh"'s, the "faaack"'s, and their lack of understanding for the Farenheit system, they rock my world.  Thanks for opening my oh-so-non-cultured eyes.  I've also got to give a similar pound to the brits.  You guys talk and talk and talk and I understand everything but the way you organize your sentences makes me crazy.  It is just.. bloody brilliant.  Having friends from all over the globe is an amazing thing.  Last night I made friends with a 22 year old Israeli male traveling through Thailand solo... almost talked him into getting a tattoo, and he was honestly dumbfounded that I had already graduated college and live in Thailand.. as if that is a remarkable feat.. which, yeah, made me feel like a superstar. haha.  After high school, in Israel, you have to go to the army (or organization like it.. can't remember) for 3 or 4 years before you can go to a university.  I also met a 19 year old british doll of a girl who's father now lives in Pattaya with his new thai wife so they come visit about twice a year.  She is in university in England and was asking me about not knowing what she wanted to get her degree/s in.  Holy Hell.  Story of my life.  She looked at me with innocent eyes, "so I'm ok? I'll be fine?"  HECK YES YOU WILL SISTER.  I mean I was more than lost at that time in my life and I'm ok, right?? haaaaaaaaaaaa  The title of this blog is dedicated to a crazy night in Kanchanaburi.  It involved a group of travelers form Eastern Europe.  One ginger had a Mr. T haircut and ended up COMPLETELY naked in the bar (many pictures were captured including a measurement of his manhood, but I will spare you such a horrifying experience).  One guy swapped clothes with me, meaning he strut around the bar in a halter top dress.  Most notable was the kurt cobain meets clockwork orange English man.  What a nut.  I love people.  Clearly, I'm drawn to the crazy ones.

The people I meet when I travel are a breed of their own.  Of course, for example with my course group of around 30, there are bound to be a few duds and people that I just don't really care for. Generally, one tends to open up much quicker and less painfully than normal.  Maybe it is because you have limited time together, to really get to know each other, so you go deep after the name exchange.  I really do cherish these moments and the beauty these conversations bring out of people - I sure have learned a lot about myself (first in Spain, now in Thailand).  Even if it does boil down to my sheer discontentment for lazy people, and as mentioned earlier, love for the crazies.  I think the cool thing about being able to meet and really get to know so many people from around the world, which I'm sure appeals to everyone, is the ability to experience new things vicariously.  Not to say you aren't cool/smart/cultured enough, but rather that the things that are not a part of your character and who you are can still be a part of your life.  Oh - that guy in the bar just got naked and you know him?  Cool.  Check that one off the list.  You love the way New Zealanders talk but aren't and never will me a Kiwi.  Welp, you've got a kiwi friend, so check that off the life list as well. 

Aside from these obvious chances to dive into the pool of your thoughts and compare stories and beliefs with others (essentially realizing you aren't, in fact, crazy and you are not alone in such existential and seemingly bizarre thoughts), travels offer the chance to understand and experience other cultures.  Living in a new culture is on a whole other magnitude of cool.  The way of life in Thailand is like none I have seen before.  I'm sure it starts way back when - a life that has evolved over many hundreds of years.  It is much simpler than America, and that is part of its beauty.  Sans welface, Social Security, day-care centers and old-age homes.  For some reason, they just don't really need them.  They just need their families (and the monks).  Most households have three generations living together.  The grandparents help to raise their grandchildren.  The adults in the middle put the food on the table.  Relationships are a force to be reckoned with here - nothing like America where communicating is both a means to keep in touch and to not keep in touch.  With so many mediums such as internet, phone, text, etc., one cannot come up with a good excuse not to keep in touch, but at the same time these are excuses for true "communication" ... It would be absolutely foreign for people in this part of the world to NOT have relationships.  It is so easy for us to go days at a time without really talking to anybody.  Much of American life is impersonal - Shopping. Driving on the freeways.  Watching TV.  Sure, the Thai system may not be perfect, but it is stable.  Maybe more than we can say for American society at times?  I'm loving my chance here to let everything just sink into my bones.  From the relationships with thai families to the difficulty and tensions that come with trying to get from point A to point B, everything opens new doors and sometimes shuts others (for the best).

Drumroll.  Had the thought today... How the HELL am I going to do this for another 4-5 months?  I literally wanted to strangle a kid today because he didn't understand the concept of "Who is SHE?" "SHE is my mother" and so I just did the kid's work for him.  Not to mention his name is MJ but looks like a mexican drug smuggler.  He's 5 and has a legit stache growing.  Breathe, Laura.  Do all teachers have days like this?  Or is it just the Kindergarten teachers?  Or is it because I'm speaking gibberish to them and can't even explain a simple grammar structure such as he vs. she in their native tongue? 
I only get upset with the kids when they don't understand because sometimes A) they don't pay attention and are goofing off when I'm trying to teach, B) they just copy off of their friends (damn kids are smart for 5 year olds!) or C) I feel that their level of understanding directly reflects my ability to teach them.

Immediately following this thought I had a conversation with my agency about next semester.  Basically negotiating my ability as a teacher and my good relationship with my school and why I should get a hefty raise and a free apartment.  Then I remembered why I do love it here, even on the days when I want to rip my own hair out or when I want to yell at the kids for smelling like urine and making fun of them for spitwads or for, a more recent activity, "playing" with themselves.  Everyday I get my name chanted by a group of kids when I enter school (teacher larrrrrla).  Usually, on good days, the teachers tell me how beautiful I am...not because I am beautiful but because my face is looking particularly white that day or I'm wearing a very colorful outfit.  And also because I am beautiful.  I come and go as I please, if I need time off, I take it, no questions asked (but, for all I know they are talking mad shit about me behind my back and I'm just not aware of it).  Best of all, I have pictures drawn of me daily - some of them I hope are the result of poor art ability, but some are really good - I look like a princess (without legs).

I was recently reminded, while talking with my mother on the phone about being a teacher and if the kids are learning and if I feel bad giving bad grades (to which I responded.. hell, no), my school etiquette circa 1999.  I know what kids are going to get good grades on exams and what kids aren't.  I know which of the devils is mocking me and those that are actually learning and enjoy english.  I know who studies for their 6th grade grammar tests and who doesn't, especially when they laugh and brag to their friends that they got a 44%.  Talk about role reversal.  Bless her heart, my mother reminded me about my freshman english teacher, Blake Etheridge, who, during a parent/teacher conference, told my parents that "if Laura would just read the book, she would be doing fine.."  Hard to remember if I was too cool to indulge myself into Lord of the Flies or The Old Man and the Sea or what i'm sure was the most obvious of excuses I gave my parents for my slacking grades - I didn't have enough time...my life was sports (and experiencing everything every teenager thrown from a Catholic school of 18 classmates to a public school in a small town tries to find time for in his/her new life).  Back to the little guys that don't understand he vs. she.  They are just children.  Although I don't want to admit, I see myself in a lot of these kiddos, especially the rebelious but eager to learn ones.  Always testing the limits of my teachers, proving to them that I know more than the other kids without seeming to have to try, and extremely curious about things I was unfamiliar with (for them, being taught by a foreigner... awkward as it is they love to touch me, look at the hair on my arms, and get so close to my face that I think we are swapping spit just to get a good look at my skin).

So what has been happening in my life lately? ** I wrote this a few weeks ago.. so much more has happened, but I'll post that later out of lack of time and motivation, this is thailand baby **  Lots of Bangkok.  Went to an ICE Bar in Bangkok a few weekends ago - hello winter.  A side bar to an Irish Jameson Bar (how I miss Jameson), this bar actually gave you PARKAS to wear to withstand the negative temps inside.  Everything was made of ice, from the bar, to the shot glasses, to the seating.  Spent 20 minutes in there, got some good pics and headed out to another club.  Farangs everywhere, a pretty normal, but crazy, and energetic party scene in Bangkok.  Come here and you can get a taste.  Other than that, I've been plugging away at school, a lot of work with the end of the semester right around the corner.  Holy crap, can't believe that the time has already come and gone - I have to admit that it really doesn't feel like I've been gone that long.  While I do often think about what I'm missing out on, I am quick to remind myself that I'm also gaining so much more by being here and experiencing what my life can offer when I open up to opportunities and situations that expand my horizons, contradict my fear of change, and provide new insights.  I don't think I'm ever going to get rid of this passion to travel and lack of desire to "stay put" and commit to just one thing.  Maybe a curse of some sort, but I've come to terms with who I am, even if that does mean that I fear being stuck in one place or situation for too long...I need to see the end, in some form or another.  My father (such a wise man) has a saying (although NOT at all applied to a situation of this kind) "paranoia will destroy ya".  I think I'm paranoid about choosing one path - I want to try them all.  We'll see where that takes me, but for now that path is Thailand, and I'm okay with that.

I often hope that this doesn't mean that I am designed to be slightly dissatisfied with everything.. always trying to better my situation.  I satisfy one desire and it agitates another.  But then again, desire is the fuel of life, right?  If we never wanted anything, would we never be unhappy?  But then again, not wanting anything is a symptom of depression.  Buddhists say rid your self of desires and you will find you already have everything you need.  Wanting more than the basic "need to live" needs is kind of invigorating.  Hmm.

I watched Groundhog Day the other day and a few points of this movie really struck me as both ironicly hilarious AND food for thought. 

"What would you do if you were stuck in one place and everyday was exactly the same and nothing that you did mattered?"


"What if there were no tomorrow?  That would mean there would be no consequences, no hangovers and we could do whatever we wanted." 
Wait, no hangovers? Sign me up! 

Awkward Turtle

So, pretty sure I should win for most outstanding farang fuck up day. I don't even know where to start. Woke up feeling good, 20 times better than the day before (Monday, which are FOR THE BIRDS) since it was Tuesday and I already had my school outfit picked out - a new black skirt I bought and some shoes that I repaired that I also bought and broke the next day. That shoe got through two classes. Awesome. Luckily I wear (surprisingly) the same size shoe as my teacher friend, Da, so I wore her shoes at lunch. Lunch is the real disaster - when I had to go to the bank to finally get my bank account. So I jump on my red headed stepchild of a scooter (which is another story about the awkwardness of my existence on such a catastrophe of a machine) and nearly fall off because my skirt had little give and I couldn't spread my legs far enough to guide myself around the other mopeds. Now, everyone and their mother knew that I was off to the bank to get my account. A solo American Farang Mission. Banks close super early here so my lunch period (when no one else had time to join me) was the only time I could find to go. One of the thai admins at my school called ahead to let them know that I would be coming. They sent me off telling me I was a brave sole to do this - I mean, I couldn't imagine how hard it could be... I had my passport, work permit, and enough thai to say yes/no/etc.
I roll up on a smoking heap and waltz into the bank like I own the place. Even though I took the less sweaty way by not walking, I still had to wipe off my sweat stache - very attractive. Don't even take a number for the queue... but then when I ask for help someone gets me one and just hands it to me. Talk about a slap in the face. My number gets called and I try to explain to the very handsome and nice (but femmy) thai man that my paperwork should be done and saved for me and that I just needed to bring my work permit to get my account. Fast forward 20 minutes, 4 calls to my school, and enough awkward silences to make even michael cera squirm, and I'm still sitting there trying to explain myself. That's when I find out he had everything he needed for the account and I just needed to sign some papers (fucking paperwork in thailand, i tell ya!). Phew. Done and done. THEN I realize I don't have the 500 baht necessary to open the account, aduofauodfh;lwahefuihasljgafhewiofjpawjf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I try to tell him I will come back and bring it in an hour, epic fail. So I call my agent, Pook, and tell her I NEED her to transfer my salary immediately because I am at the back, epic fail. Fast forward another 20 minutes, 4 MORE phone calls, and several angry thai people waiting, and one VERY angry thai bank assistant and I FINALLY have my "bahtage" in my account. I say my goodbyes, try to apologize to everyone, grab my backpack and walk out, feeling pretty freaking cocky for getting this shit done - solo mission (ish). Of course, my hard plastic bottle filled with iced coffee from school falls out of the side of my bag and lands with a shattering crash all over the piercingly white bank floor. Chocolate brown liquid dripping from my skirt, filling up DA'S shoes, and making a mad dash to every part of the bank. The music stopped at the bank, and all eyes were on me - the farang fuck up. My new best friend and bank assistant just gave me a look of shock and in broken english said, "it ok. go now" So I did, leaving a caffeine footprint and a whole lot of my confidence in being the only white girlie in this damn town.





Field Trip! Kindergarten 2 went to the large dragon descendants' museum in Suphan Buri. I have been before with the boy I tutor and his mother, where I got an English guided headset for the tour inside the dragon (again, super attractive especially paired with the blue plastic booties we wore). Four teachers were in my group of 40 students. Piece of cake. Except the floor moves like a ship in parts of the tour, there are dragons that hiss while you walk by, and it is basically pitch black throughout the entire thing. Not so fun for 4-5 year olds. Picture these 40 kids either crying and clinging to one of us, plugging their ears because the guide's microphone was turned up to MAX and was essentially bursting all of our ear drums, or screaming their friends' name to try to find them amongst the group of midgets to stand next to and hold hands. Dragon in thai is 'Munggorn' which was said a substantial amount of times during the tour. However, it is also a popular nickname for thai children. Imagine being 'Munggorn' in the 'Munggorn' - talk about either feeling like a celebrity or a nut job for having a nickname like 'dragon'... it kind of makes me think about an american child having a nickname like 'fairy' or 'darkwing duck' or 'ninja turtle'.... 3 of them wouldn't leave my side throughout the day - not that I cared because the kids are so damn cute - but it's like your first date with a guy in the theatre, you are just a teenager, and you hold hands, gets freakin sweaty you are so nervous (well, maybe that was just me, and maybe it was because said movie was CAST AWAY aka nearly 4 hours of silence on a beach). It's so interesting to watch small children interact, no matter the culture/language/etc. It reminded me of when I was young and would try to play the 'mother' kidlet to the smaller ones. At one point I looked to my left (while I had one child clinging to my neck and one sitting on my lap) and saw the smallest and quietest girl, Mew, in the arms of one of the bigger boys, Mek. So cute. Kids really do look out for each other. Maybe it is because they see each other as the same. It doesn't matter if you are a boy, girl, ladyboy, fat, thin, smart, slow, or whatever; everyone deserves a friend. These feelings seem to morph as we grow, so seeing them in their most innocent form is quite eye-opening to the manipulations the outside world has on our relationships.

In other news, we had another 4 day weekend. I'm all for the thai teaching lifestlye, I mean "teaching" 27 hours each week, which is often dumbed down to about 20, is about the equivalent to finding a hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk, winning olympic gold, or any other occurrence that makes you feel that way :) considering my salary and cost of living here. I decided this time I wouldn't do something as outrageous as going to Chiang Mai so I went with the very Laura-like 'don't plan a thing and just roll with the wind' option. My vice principal, Nee, wanted to take me shopping and to a movie in Bangkok for some time, so we made plans to do that on Friday. Oh, Thursday was Mother's Day here, so Wednesday my school had a big ceremony and I also go that day off. (Happy Mothers Day, Madre G!) I went to Kanchanaburi Wednesday - I've been there 3 times now and absolutely love it. So peaceful, full of nature, and loads of chill people ready to take your baht to send you on a boat, to a nearby waterfall, to the bridge over the river kwai, or to the tiger temple or some other exotic animal getaway. I did a Safari on Wednesday with 5 non english speaking europeans - it wasn't awesome but it was pretty cool to feed and hang out with giraffes and zebras. It's amusing how many times I was told by the thai tour guides about the deer and how I could feed them. I just laughed to myself, I mean I'm from Wisconsin, I think I know what a deer looks like. My father has a giant head hanging on the wall that you must duck under to get to the downstairs at my parent's farm house - my friend Margie looooooves it :-P Hung out in Kanchanaburi for the next day and a half and then headed to Bangkok with Nee and the principal's daughter, Sam. It really is exhausting hanging out with thai people all day, that's really all I have to say about that trip.

The feeling of missing out on things back home, and just plain old missing my relationships, schedule, and surroundings of my life before Thailand has presented itself a few times since I've been here. In between the crazy nights with farangs drinking "gatorade" outside clubs and the days filled with thai children and thai families that, although we cannot communicate the best, have taught me so much about life and myself, there is the reminder of what great things I have in my life back home (and some not so great things that are part of my reason for travelling) and everything that has gotten me to this point in my life. There have been a lot of battles in the past few years, and looking back I realize how much my friends and family has helped me through the ups and downs. Let's be honest, my life is more of a rollarcoaster than anything, even if it is sometimes more equivalent to the Giant Drop - at least in my head. You know those really down times where you can't see the light and although you remind yourself things will get better, you really don't believe what you or anyone else is telling you? A slump - maybe. I kept saying I was in a rut back home. Did I think I'd be living in Thailand and wanting to stay past my contract 5 years ago? Not sure. I am thankful that I've had this opprotunity and thankful that I can make the decision on my own to stay longer. Your perspective (during the good and the bad times) changes, and you find yourself considering something that would never have occurred to you, and, I have to say, it can be very pleasant. Life-changing? No, but I wouldn't necessarily want to go back. A little insight from Mr. Gordon Ramsay. The ultimate error is to disregard earlier actions because in there is guidance that you have paid for, sometimes at an eye-watering price.


Pictures to follow... Don't have my camera right now.

my thai style, insults, and condiments

Little things make my day. Prime example: this morning I spoke for a solid 45 seconds with my mother. Unfortunately, although a highlight of my day, not the point of this story. I explained to her that I was going to school 'early' because my internet at my apartment wasn't working and I was going to use it at school, to which she replied how her internet ALSO wasn't working... in a tone suggesting that perhaps by some coincidence BOTH of our Internets (although on opposite parts of the world) were being constricted by means of a similar catastrophe. Yeah, pretty intense conversation for 45 seconds.


The following excerpt of my life is a tad feminine, so maybe skip this part if you aren't down with the masses (err.. i mean menses).

Before traveling to Thailand, I obviously needed to get my personal pharmacy in order. Not only did I need my malaria pills (of which I forgot I had and have never taken), thypoid shots, and Hep A and B shots, I also needed all my prescriptions filled for 7 months. Holy balls. That took some finagling with both my doctors and pharmacists at Walgreens :P Talking it over with my parents was a piece of cake. Until my mother brought up my birth control, to which I replied I had stopped taking and was going to not fill a prescription and bring it to Thailand. A) I was saving money as I had already shelled out over a grand to complete my first aid kid and to organize previously mentioned personal pharmacy. 2) I wasn't taking any at the time, plus I figured I wasn't going to Thailand to make babies. My father happened to be in the room at the time, and literally muted the television to gawk at me in astonishment. "Laura, it's not about what you PLAN to do. What about the 'heat of the moment'" Haha. Sorry, Dad. You are too funny to not tell that part of the story. Fair enough... I know there are several reasons to go on the pill and what not but I tried to give my own reasons at the time. I recently read a lot about the history of birthcontrol and about several studies from the introduction of this 'natural' means of menstruation for females. One such study proved that it is not, in fact, normal for women to menstruate every 28 days (or once a month). Over a course of several years, research was done on a large group of females that had never used any form of contraception. Remarkably, these woman hand only around 100 lifetime menses, about 7 per year from puberty to age 20...over the next decade and a half, women spent most of their time either pregnant or breast-feeding (which eliminates menstruation)... from age 35-menopause these woman averaged around 4 menses a year. We, on the other hand, because of this shift towards a monthly cycle rock it about 400 times in our lives. So, our bodies are basically being subjected to changes and stresses that they were not necessarily designed by evolution to handle. Oh, and one of the founders of birth control was a devout Christian (that is a whooooole 'nother story).


You mean to tell me I don't HAVE to have ALL those symptoms after all. WTF?! Incessant ovulation serves no purpose except to increase the occurrence of abdominal pain, mood shifts, migraines, endometriosis, fibroids, and anemia - the last of which is "one of the most serious health problems in the world." Is that a good enough reason, Padre?



So, back that ass up two weeks:
We had a 4 day weekend recently for the Buddhest Lent Day and I took a bus up to Chiang Mai with a few friends. Despite having JUST gotten my wisdom tooth pulled and going to a place in my head where it would NEVER heal (ha, Katy), I had an AMAZING time. The best. Not only because I fell in love with a thai fire throwing, mask wearing thai man. At least I don't think so. A quick synopsis of that weekend, noting the highlights, are organized below in an simple and readable bulleted format. You're welcome.

• Sketchball of a bus ride coordinator on Khao San road in Bangkok lead us astray for about 2 hours past our "departure time"
• 11+ hour bus ride there and back (the ride back being the most painful... insert annoying asswipe of a british man talking for 6 straight hours, NO air conditioning, and a throbbing hole in your mouth where your wisdom tooth once was)
• Day long excursion with the girls:

• Extreme nauseousness sitting on the back of a pick up truck up a mountain for 45 minutes
• Visiting native thai tribes, including the "long necks" that I have been so interested in seeing since I was obsessed with them at the age of 11 watching my national geographic VHS's
• Acquiring the nickname "White Chicken" while aboard a white water raft. Of course I was sent to the front as one of the 'strongest' links in our group of 4 girls. Our 'captain' was deemed the "black cat" by me after being given such a strange nickname; apparently, because I have white skin and had goosebumps on my arms?? Either way, we had a GREAT team, which included two random Brazilian girls that we met.
• Bamboo rafting. Awesome. Especially with the "black cat" captain that kept tipping us over.
• Wearing bob the builder helmets and intense orange life jackets on the river while white water rafting. Taking said helmets and life jackets off ON the SAME river to bamboo raft. Doesn't quite add up.
• Lunch at the elephant camp, where I was "recognized" because they thought I had been there before. HOW many times does this have to happen to me.... apparently I do NOT have a very unique face.
• Woody. Woody. Yes, that was the name of our thai tour guide for the day. He slapped me in the arm at the end of the day. Clearly he has very legit thai manners.

• Reggae bars; smuggled alcohol to save money
• Mexican dinner. Seriously best meal ever (even though I could barely eat any). The portions were American-sized!
• Unfortunately lost my Blackberry :(
• Without said phone and my new found love for mr. thai fire thrower on Sunday evening, I was no where to be found or reached. Thus... Bridget called the Thai Police to check to see if they knew where I was??? Yeah... I'm sure that doesn't sound supa sketchy at alllll.
• HUGE walking markets where I got lost several times, often making those I was with angry at my "deer in the headlights" looks I gave when I finally wandered back to them explaining how I got stuck in a group listening to a thai band, or tried to buy some shoes without finding my size, or just plain forgot what I was doing.

Am I at clown school? The last week's events might make most learn towards the positive.....

Fancy Day. A Kindergarten drag queen meets Richard Simmons meets "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" on crack. Pictures can really only describe the trash massacre that hit Supaluck School. Hundreds of kindergarten students, a solid 20+ thai teachers, and one farang (me) all dressed in our finest of hand made garbage outfits. Little girls (and boys) decked out in makeup that would make Dede from the Drew Carey show jealous. Honestly, I felt like a celebrity with about 10-12 video cameras pointed in my direction. Every time I turned there were more people taking pictures of me, as I was the first and only "non-thai" addition to this not-so-fancy day.


Balloon Market Day. Not sure the beginnings of this, but I walked out of my afterschool class and saw several students running around the play garden with balloon swords. I followed them until I found a table of about 5 thai teachers pumping away selling their knife like creations for 1 baht. I threw my bag on the ground and put my "i'm the only farang in this damn place so of course I should help" face. Essentially, I ended up with nothing but bloody (not in an english way) hands. I realized I had just spent 1 hour pumping balloons (the little kind clowns make poodles out of) with a mini hand pump. I was basically putting a tiny condom on a magnum plus sized dildo and pumping away like lindsay lohan on meth. Turns out, I'm a fantastic mini balloon pumper - my sheer determination to succeed. I have three band-aids on my hands to prove it and all we made the damn kids were some genitalia looking swords. I couldn't even shampoo my hair (not that I normally do) because the soap burned my cuts. Talk about a class clown.

I finished my first round of after school classes. 7-8 kindergartners every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for about an hour after normal classes end. I got paid... bonus (cha ching). I got my second crew as well... gonna be hell. 12-13 students that enjoy touching each other and rolling around on the dusty floor of the classroom more than anything.

Last but not least, I'd like to embark on my current fashion [dilemma] in Thailand. What some might call odd, I find fitting and necessary to add to my wardrobe. I found a wonderful red shirt at a second hand store that I've worn a few times here. A friend of mine (NOT thai) asked me if I was 'serious' by wearing it one Saturday in Bangkok. Of course I was. That same day, and thai friend of a friend said to me... "your shirt... in Thailand... mother or grandmother wear." Ha. I love the shirt and I don't really care too much what people say, it'll probably be on the cover of Vanity Fair soon. I made a few skirts here as well out of material I bought. One of which I wore to school last week. The thai teachers loved the thai print, but told me that 'usually' that print was worn by grandmothers. How nice of them. They called me ugly when I came to school in flip flops from Old Navy the other day. Called me beautiful when I showed up in an obnoxiously large purple flowing skirt. Without a doubt, I am a fashion leader. Follow me.... unless of course you are looking for compliments.

Oh, random side-note. I was just thinking about my LOVE for condiments (and parallel hatred for mayonnaise). My reasoning for such hatred lies within a childhood snack that my mother used to make. Apples+mayonnaise. 2 ingredients. Sick. I can sometimes be found eating up to 4 apples in one day (obsession - maybe found in the next edition of disorders) and now HATE mayonnaise. Khap Khun Kha... mf's

Team Suphanburi

I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, and tell you how I fell into a boat on an island called Koh Samet. (Ohhh, Fresh Prince)

There are forces in the universe that are just beyond our capacity to understand. Do things really happen for a reason? Should Karma be taken more seriously? What separates the mind from the body? Assuming gravity is one of these forces, I begin my descent into a tale of how Thailand broke Laura Guenther.

I had a catastrophic run in with the force of gravity in Koh Samet, an island off the coast of Thailand. First of all, it was a fabulous weekend. I took Friday off and headed to the island Thursday evening (planned on meeting the rest of the crew coming there Friday night). Such a relaxing day on Friday, just laying on the beach, watching as people slowly filtered out of their bungalows, hotels, hostels, and shacks right on the beach to enjoy some breakfast with friends or family. The vendors were getting their ancient bamboo-over-the-shoulder-carriers ready for the day, filled with eggs, fruits, fried chicken, and other foods unrecognizable to my foreign eyes. I got my first "thai massage" since I've been here and it was... orgasmic. I miss my weekly visits with my chiropractor and the chiropractic masseuse that I would see in the States and my body was missing her too. Owner of truly the hardest of all shoulders and neck muscles in the world, I gladly accepted the elbows and feet applying massive pressure to all points on my back, legs, and even my arse. Friday night brought a storm, meaning my friends would be arriving much later than expected. Upon arrival, most were already drunk from their "booze cruise" from Bangkok and their extra drinks while waiting for the "okay" from the boat taxi to take them to the island once the storm had passed. It was a fun night playing in the rain, dancing to OLLLLD american pop music, and meeting random americans also there for a weekend away from their respective concrete villages and school sanctuaries. Saturday was much of the same, nothing too exciting. Sunday was exactly what I wanted... an early start for home because it would be about 4 hours to get to bangkok and then another, almost, 2 hours for me to make my way back to Suphanburi... I wanted to get there before dark because I had a few loose ends to tie together for the following week at school. A group of us were grabbing a ferry at 12:30. I took one step off of the dock, reached for the hand of a friend, and all giggles, not paying any attention to the distance between the dock and the ferry, nor the measure of the drop into the boat, my foot basically missed anything solid and went (i think) in between the two objects and my body flew forward. Having my heavy backpack and huge purse on my right arm probably didn't help my fall, but then again maybe their weight carried me INTO the ferry as opposed to just falling straight down into the water. Unsure of the specifics, I know I hit my left shin hella hard on the edge of the metal ferry step and threw the rest of my body onto my right thigh as I landed on it on something equally as hard. Ouch.

Both legs throbbed and I was in shock.. i thought i broke my femur.. and when i saw the blood it REALLY started to hurt.. then i got dizzy and started throwing up/gagging over the boat and almost passed out while people tried to bandage me and apply pressure to stop the bleeding.
Instantly bruised quad on my right leg and the large gash on my left leg required 3 stitches.
Thank all that is immortal that I had friends with me to take care of me and to "hold my hand" because the hospital was painful.. numbing shot didn't work too well. Anyway, I'm fine. I was more upset about my stupidity and how much this was going to affect my ability to get around. In the end, it was MUCH less painful throughout the next few days than expected. I went to the doctors that I know in Suphanburi that speak english and are parents to one of my students and checked for breaks/fractures, got new bandages, and realized that although extremely painful the first day the pain went away quickly and wasn't as much of a nuisance that I expected. Phew.



Khru Da (who I have talked about quite a bit, which I will refer to as Da, and is probably my best teacher friend at Supaluck) calls me a lot. I am usually hesitant to answer phone calls, even in America, because I just don't like making small talk sometimes and here it is especially difficult to understand a foreigner like myself. Let alone trying to understand the broken english/thai coming from the other end. However, I know that Da means well and she is HILARIOUS. I honestly find her more and more 'western' like by the day. She actually just called me (it is about 8am) and said, "Laura, come to school NOW" and I asked why. She laughed and said "I MISS YOU" Sounds cute, right? I just laugh, because I taught her the word miss and how to use it, like that she "misses" her husband during the week because he stays in Bangkok where he works and only comes home on weekends. We've basically started to refer to ourselves as long lost twins from opposite sides of the earth. At the EXACT same time I had my accident falling into the boat on Koh Samet, she fell off of a chair during the "Teacher Sports Day" and busted up her lip. We wear the same size shoe, love the same food (aka anything spicy, basically everything here), and we have similar senses of humor.

Da: "Laura I have speak with you, have talk...tell you"
Me: "umm.. ok
"next week. you have time? I have time. you have time?"
"time for what?!"
"ummmmmm... have time. weekend this you go koh samet. next week, have time?"
"oh yes.. I have time" realizing she meant to ask if i had plans for the next weekend or not
"we go beach. i tell husband. he say 'ok' ... take children sister, she say 'ok' ..."
"OK!"

Just a little insight to some of our conversations (difficult to try to type out, they are much more confusing and in depth than I alluded to, but once we DO understand each other it is giddy excitement).

So Cha Am Beach, here I come with my new Thai family. The first excursion we went on to a nearby temple and the 100 year old market in Suphanburi calmed my nerves with regard to spending time with this family. Now I'm quite inclined to sing along with the English songs they play while driving... hone in on their thai conversations when I recognize a thai word I know... and tickle the two sons, Leo and Levi, until they almost cry. I've referred to us as Team Suphanburi, and they think it is hilarious. What I find hilarious is their explanations for the nicknames of their sons. Leo, a popular beer in Thailand, and Levi, "like the jeans"
I'm awake and ready for our 4 am departure on Saturday morning, meaning I had a lovely Friday night alone in my apartment. That was sarcasm, in case you couldn't smell it. I was about to pull my hair out I was so bored. After the week (Tuesday-Friday) of teaching requiring me to stand and walk all day left my legs the antithesis of dainty. They were swollen and about to pop and I had some serious fluid build up around my stitches teamed up with new bruising under my right ankle. The thais at my school got a kick out of touching the fluid pocket and stopping me wherever I was walking to tell the nearby thai people about my condition (in thai, so I really had little idea what they were saying, if it even had to do with my injuries at all). I was done with work at 3 pm on Friday so I came home to elevate my leg, knowing this was the best idea ever. I looked at the clock at 4:25 pm and thought I should just take a sleeping pill and call it a night because laying on my bed wasn't keeping me interested. I reached for my book (one of the three I'm attempting to read right now) and read about 2 pages... blah. Turned the tv on to watch yet another random American movie, it was "Teeth" (just a plug about this movie.. which I actually have already seen... it is about a teenage girl that makes a holy vow to not have sex until marriage and her vagina then grows teeth, eating anything that enters its "cave" Not exactly the material I was looking for) so I turned off the tv. Went to my computer thinking I might have a few words to type out, but nothing. So I lay back down, put my leg in the air, and start texting (might as well see what everyone else in Thailand is up to while I self indulge in my solitude). Ultimately, I end up ordering food from "The Pizza Company" and because my salad and bread sticks weren't enough baht for them to deliver, I order 2 salads. And, yes, eat them both. 8:30 rolls around. I drink a beer instead of a sleeping pill and sleep through the night... well, until 3:20 am when my alarm went off. Nothing like magic, my leg had lost about 10 pounds and I was packed and ready for my day at the beach.

3.5 hour drive. Not bad at all. You don't see many thai people wearing bathing suits, especially women. Boys wear tight shorts and a shirt usually, to protect them from the sun. I had my bathing suit on but wore a dress, well knowing that I would likely not be flaunting my American skin as a guest with this fam. I actually wasn't supposed to go in the sea at all because of my stitches but the doctor gave me a waterproof bandage so I managed to get in just enough to splash with Leo and Levi, and what do ya know... ran into one of my students there. Very random when you are 200+ kilometers away from your school and you hear "TEACHAAA LARRRRLA" It was the first time for Leo and Levi to see or be in the sea and they loooooved it. We ate tons of seafood and upon further review decided it would be best to go back to Suphanburi that evening instead of spending the night in Cha Am. That way, we could all go to BuengChawak (http://www.hotsia.com/suphanburi/bueng%20chawak.shtml) on Sunday! (They all knew how badly I've been wanting to go there, so I was absolutely for it and very appreciative) We went to some more beaches, they names escape me, and had some lunch, stopped at a crazy candy shop where I definitely overindulged, and headed back, where I made them take us out for dinner so I could treat. OH MY GOD. I love the food here. But I seriously need to stop eating so much of it.

Funny I should mention that... I WILL HAVE to stop eating it come next week when I get my first Wisdom Tooth pulled out, thai style. Oh yeah. Bring on the local anesthesia (I asked for general just to see, and they laughed). It's an "easy" case for the specialist, seeing as my tooth has already shown its nasty little white head, and honestly, I'm not that nervous/scared/worried at all. I'm actually kinda proud of myself, maybe for my parent's sake, that I'm saving so much money in getting it done in Thailand. Medicine, Dentist visits, and teeth pulling (all-inclusive) will cost me around 100 dollars max. Holler.

At Bueng Chawak - Indigenous Gardens
(Leo, Da, Me, Sin)

Definitely picture worthy.. A fish named Gunther!

Watching the Thai scubadiver feed the big ones...

Jan, one of my fellow Kindergarten teachers. Such a nut.

Da's son, Leo, wearing my glasses on our trip home from the beach.

Da, her mother, and myself

Bald Eagle Pride

quick photo i got of my stitches in the hospital 3 days after the "incident"

props to the thai ER doc's in Rayong... pretty decent job!














Koh Samed; a bit overcast so it is hard to see the beautiful rolling hills/mountains in the
background


















My Kindergarten 3-2 class on "casual friday"

















A few photos of the "thai" Independence Day...































Beer and a free mug!















The infamous Katy Trunckwalter and myself at the "cold bar" in Bangkok... given the name by us Farang only because it has air conditioning and is a much needed relief from the heat outside... even though the prices are ridiculously too high

















MMMMMM... Best breakfast ever.

Mai Rue

So quite a bit has happened since my last post... Well, naturally. I hope that you all weren't expecting a dull and adventure-less update from me (I use the word "you" with a grain of salt not knowing at all who I refer to, but alas not the point). I cannot believe that it is already July. Independence day right around the corner, the corn just about up to the knee, and here I am in the middle of my first semester of teaching in Thailand and am finally swinging comfortably like the monkeys in the trees that I teach my children about. I don't know where to start with this update so I'm just going to type and hopefully it rolls off the keyboard making some sort of haphazard sense.

I like the idea of being alone but not alone at the same time. I love that I can come home to my apartment after school or at lunch and just be. Have some time to think. I really do cherish this time, but have been realizing lately that I don't NEED to go home and be by myself because there are many other things to do. I'm often asked to go for dinner or to sit and talk english with some of the thai teachers and parents at my school but have often declined thinking about how it will interrupt my "safe" time. It is soooo tiring after teaching 6 classes to think about using your native english in a dumbed down way to get adults to understand you for hours afterward. However, I've realized it is very much worth it. I've become very good friends with several of the thai teachers, including the principal and vice principal at my school (they are sisters). Monday evening I went over to their house, which is just up the road from Supaluck school, and ate dinner with them. Their house is AMAZING for Thailand, obviously, because they are loaded beyond belief. Tuesday, after my "after-school" class that Chin, the little boy I tutor, decided to join to see if having peers around him would encourage him to pay more attention, I went for ice cream with Chin and his mother to celebrate. Wednesday, I finished at school around 5 and was sitting around the outdoor cafeteria near the play garden talking with some teachers and letting the students climb all over me until about 5:45. Da, the teacher that I've become very good friends with and talk to daily, "forced" me to go with her and her son, Leo, to eat dinner. She always orders the best food so naturally I was dropped off at my apartment around 7 pm with a full belly. I am thoroughly enjoying the relationships I'm making here. I think a lot of it has to do with the humor that comes out of it. I am constantly being laughed at... not in a bad way, but I just do crazy things in class and make faces at the children to get their attention in a way that isn't common for Thai teachers... additionally, I try to speak thai all the time and I goof up a lot. I love making them laugh, especially when I'm the one laughing at them for them trying to speak english. One of my favorite things, and I honestly can't help but laugh when they do it, is when they grunt in agreement. The thai language is very tonal and a lot of times it sounds like they are talking out of their noses, so when they are doing the equivalent of our "ah, yes" agreement, it is more like a solid grunt, or throat clearing noise. It gets me every time.

Ok, let me backtrack a few weeks and talk about what I've actually done and where I've visited lately.

Hua Hin Jazz Festival: An absolutely breathtakingly beautiful beach on the Eastern border of Thailand. Took about 4 hours to get there by bus from Suphan Buri, longer than necessary because we had to make a stop to get the correct bus in Bangkok. Arrived Friday evening just in time for the USA World Cup game (I'm very sad that there are no longer USA games to watch after Saturday's pitiful display of football... err, soccer). Saturday was spent laying on the beach with friends where we were bombarded by vendors selling everything from hairbands to bed spreads to horses. Really didn't allow for much sleeping, but it was a wonderful day and AWESOME to be back on a beach, especially because it was a much smaller group than our normal 20+ posse. I rode a horse along the beach for a bit, ate delicious food, and come dusk, the music began and people came out of every corner and piled on top of each other amidst food stands, bright neon lights, port-a-pottys, and the sound of rushing waves as the tide went down. The music was phenomenal, I mean it would have to be the equivalent of all the live shows I'm missing back home (ahem... serious sad face) but it really was great. I declared it more of a Jam/Blues/Funk/Jazz Fest, so yeah, right up my alley. Sunday was the trek back home (after VERY little sleep in a hot box of a room) and so I was completely down for some American therapy with two girls from my training group, Randi and Katy. We got dropped off at a huge mall on the outskirts of Bangkok - 6 stories (wait, maybe 4?) with a water park on top. We ate some delicious dim yum and tofu soup and who knows what else, followed immediately by ice cream sundaes from Swensen's. Walked around the mall, obviously being gawked at not only because we were the only farang in the area, but we were trekking with huge backpacks wearing our finest backpackers apparel and eating enough food to feed a small army. People tend to smile in delight when they see us though, it's interesting, like "hey, people like our country, so they come to our mall?!" Anyway, the main attraction of that Sunday was going to the movies. LOVE THEM. It is a wonderful and relaxing way to spend 3 dollars in Thailand. We saw Prince of Persia. I'm telling you, the theatres in Thailand are twice as nice as America's and I'm not just saying it because they are a mere fraction of the cost. They really are great. They have sooo many flavors of popcorn, and best of all they have the national anthem that plays before every movie so you get to stand up and pay respect to the country (geek alert). All in all, a fabulous weekend and another Sunday that I didn't want to make the trek back to Suphan Buri.

The week after, Katy (from New Jersey), didn't have classes all week (LUCKY!!) so she came Tuesday to stay with me for the night. Suphan Buri is a bit more of a trek for people who live in the greater Bangkok area, so it was nice that she had a few days off and could come up. Naturally, my lovely apartment and hospitality and great company lead her to stay for what ended up being 4 days, followed by her impeccable persuasion skills to return back to Bangkok with her on Friday after school. We're a duo straight from the nut house. Seriously.. (Katy, if you are reading this, you know I mean this in the best, and most hilarious way) Aside from Katy's arrival to Suphan Buri, there was much more chaos in my school life. YWAM (Youth With A Mission.. formerly Cowboy's With A Mission) had entered my Supaluck School bubble, which would last two weeks. I was aware of there arrival weeks ago, but still didn't understand their purpose as missionaries in a private school in Thailand. Either way there are about 13 of them, from Canada and USA mainly, that come from a discipleship school in Montana. The school is 5 months and the last 2 are spent abroad. Anyway, 2-3 of them follow me around all day, thank goodness I came to the conclusion earlier that I didn't NEED to be alone haha.

For a little taste of home, a friend coordinated a 3v3 basketball tournament at her pad (obviously, she has a full court basketball court in her apartment complex) the following weekend. It was an intense Saturday, especially after an intense Friday night of drinking in Bangkok, filled with too much sweat, skinned knees and elbows, and sheer realization of how out of shape I am. Nevertheless, my team won! 300 baht richer, we decided to end the day with free margaritas (for girls, haha) and some mexican and some odd dancing at a few places. I planned to take a 6 am bus home, so I didn't make arrangements to 'sleep' anywhere. I typically find that when I actually do make arrangements to sleep somewhere in Bangkok, I don't usually end up getting anything close to being defined as sleep. More often than not, I find myself awake by 6 or 7 in the morning after getting in around 3am, and waking others up to join in my solitude. Either way, I got a tad bit of shuteye on my bus ride home. I suppose I should mention my reasoning for taking such an early route home... I had made plans with a thai teacher and her family to go visit a nearby temple and visit Suphanburi's infamous 100 year old market, Samchuk. I was told I would be picked up at 9am and didn't want to be late. On just a few moments of sleep I had a fabulous day and was very thrilled to have seen a few other parts of my town and to have a wonderful family to share it with, all ending with a delicious meal, several souvenirs, and a multitude of pictures. I even got to present gifts to a monk and chant with the family in a buddhist ceremony. The rest of my Sunday was spent sleeping, leading into my next week to be named "Laura's sleep-a-thon"

I literally spent more time asleep than awake. Averaging about 11 hours each night, and at least one nap (usually during my lunch period) each day, I had no idea what was going on with my body. Mono? Again? Did basketball really tucker me out that much?! Or was I bored? I welcomed my new hobby remembering the sleepless nights I spent on countless occasions throughout my college career and life in general. It really is amazing how the mind can just shut off sometimes. Not only was I sleeping through this week, I wasn't doing much of anything else, including my typical journaling or meditating or exercising or reading or general moving at all.

So, I've vowed to give up killing for a week. Jokes aside, it is difficult. I'm used to swatting at any insect (i.e. mosquito that tempts me with the possibility of typhoid if bitten) that lands on me and when I see a spider in my room or ant on my balcony my first instinct is to end it's life so I don't have to look at it anymore. Let me tell you HOW many ants live on my balcony. I could spend hours just watching them march around on and between the cracks of my walls. They line up and begin a descent to the ground, but there is always one or two that is going in the opposite direction. Interestingly enough, it stops and "chats" with each and every ant on it's way. I always wonder what they are saying, or maybe they are just kissing good-bye? "Hey man, I'm pretty sure you're gonna get killed by that white giant down there, but don't let me be the one to squash your dreams.. pun intended!" Yeah, I guess I'd like to think that even the smallest of animals have a sense of humor. Or maybe, "Hi, what's your name, what tribe do you come from? Oh, okay, well have a good look around and we will meet at the tribal festival at dusk." Anyway, I've decided that in karma induced enlightenment to no longer kill these little guys. I was speaking with a thai friend about how for 4 years she stopped killing mosquitoes around her and she is no longer bothered by them. According to the Buddhist way of life, each ant/insect/bug/snake/etc could have been my (or your) mother in a previous life. Either way, it has been haunting me (at least I think so). I haven't been attacked by so many bugs/mosquitoes/i don't know what's since I've been here (well, maybe except for when I slept outside on Phi Phi Island and woke up with what I thought was severe chicken pox on my legs). I'm constantly scratching my legs, shoulders, neck, and head, but I'm confident that this is just a test - I'm sure there must me some sort if hazing or initiation for such a vow. Ha. I even had to shower with a spider the other day. Then again maybe I'm just going crazy; I couldn't find my deodorant this afternoon and later found it in my fridge?! Cooly fresh armpits might be my new favorite thing.

Happy 4th of July to everyone... I am now continuing this post on July 5th. I had a decent weekend; some definite highs and lows. Passed through my largest bough of homesicknesses. Not at all certain what triggered it as I have had a wonderful week where I really realized how great the relationships I've made here are. Spent a lot of time with different teachers and thai families doing "cultural" things around Suphanburi, and eating out with them at various "restaurants" with the best food. I did, however, unfortunately get to experience a thai funeral as well. A very good teacher friend of mine, who actually spent a few years living in California so hwer english is great, lost her brother just a few days ago. The cermony was during the evening so I went with a few other teachers to show support. Of course, I was the ONLY America, but because I was surrounded with people that knew me (and would actually talk to me... i.e. weren't actually embarrassed to be associated with me [what a nice feeling! ha j/k]) I didn't feel that out of place. It was interesting, especially in the end when everyone got a surprise box. Thinking we would offer the food/drink inside to the monks in honor of the recently deceased, I didn't think much of it. Then I asked... and soon found out... we got to feast! Cultural surprises make my time here very interesting and fabulous.

I spent my 4th of July weekend a bit differently than normal, even for me here in Thailand. I actually stayed (gasp) at home in Suphan Buri friday evening. Wasn't feeling the best after the week of nonstop sleep and was talked into going out with a fellow kindergarten thai teacher that is about my age and some of her friends to "dance" and meet her sister who was visiting from Switzerland. Long story short, dinner was FABULOUS, and everyone was very nice, especially after a few 'towers' of Leo beer followed by some slushy whiskey/vodka concoctions that kept coming like kids in a candy store. I swear, I could have just stood up and everyone in the place would have burst out in laughter, oh wait, that DID happen. There are a plethora of videos and pictures documenting my night with the thai locals, none of which I have access to... scary. A few of them that were captured on the phone of one of my co-workers surfaced in the middle of the funeral... this being the one where we were eating a chocolate bar and made it cover our teeth so we looked like homeless and dirty old men. Classy, really glad people here are starting to get to know the 'real' me?! Saturday I headed for Bangkok and met a few friends at an International school that was throwing an "Independence Day" fiesta for all the Americans in the area. It was interesting to say the least. The beer was delicious, and so was the free Dairy Queen ice cream cones, but I was realllllly bummed that I didn't win the egg toss. :( Pretty uneventful 4th of July... the evening was fun, though, ending in more dancing and chanting the National Anthem while running the streets holding the America Flag.... oh, crazy americans.




The GIANT dragon in Suphan Buri. I traveled inside it, which is a vast trek into the history of Chinese and Thailand relations reaching farther back than "The Art of War" times...













My little buddy, Chin, and I inside the dragon... I'm wearing the super trendy American/English tourist gear to get the full enjoyment out of my little adventure.











My 6th grade class. Oh so excited to learn... NOT














Wat Mueng (literally translated to 'Purple Temple')